Every day so far has been back to school for another kid. First orientation. Then half day. It’s been a staggered start the whole week. School starting—as in, all the kids out of the house—is only happening next Tuesday.

Basically, we’re not on any schedule right now. Not summer. Not school. Not even the in-between-no-schedule.

(btw, how’s it going for you?)

Here’s how I’m getting back into my own routine:

Personal greetings: I try not to be on my phone when a kid comes off the bus or into the door. (If you’re making calls in the car, you can say, “I’m hanging up because my kid is here.”) Make eye contact, give a big smile, and incorporate physical touch—bigger kids get no loving touch the whole day.

Feed them right away: When there’s fruits/veggies and cups of water prepared on the table, it makes such a difference. The kids actually eat something healthy. My hands aren’t full preparing snack. And it gives them a chance to pause and debrief. (In general, I serve supper by 5 and then they can have a snack like toast after.)

Ask better questions: “How was your day?” gets me no responses. I’m experimenting with values-driven questions. On my personal list: “What do you want to thank Hashem for?” and “How did you help a friend today?” and “What question did you ask today?”

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Not a routine, but back-to-school:

First day of school pictures: I do all the cute photos—Chanukah pajamas, matching outfits, first day of school. But I don’t think those should be shared. Safety-wise, it gives away a lot of critical information (age, school, teacher, and even interests). Consent-wise, I don’t show my children’s faces online. Take the pic, send it to the family group… but don’t post it to your status.

All the feels: My oldest is in 3rd grade, which is crazy because… I was literally just in 3rd grade. I remember the teachers. I still have my writing notebook! I was a whole person… and so is he. Whatever age your baby is, it’s hard to send them into the tough world. We can’t protect them from mean kids, inexperienced teachers* or frustrating rules. (Can you tell what kind of student I was in 3rd grade lol.) We can only create a soft cushion landing in our own homes.

*I’ve been a teacher and a principal! I have utmost respect for the people caring for my kids. (Tell me if you want to hear more about advocating for your child or supporting their teacher.) Also, if you’re a teacher—or want your kids’ teachers in NYC to get coaching—see my friend Mushkie’s resources for engaged, interactive classrooms.

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Tell me... What do you need help with as school starts?