Man, today* was a lot. Of money. And sensory overload. And too much time sitting in traffic.

What happened: my oldest son, who’s a Benny Friedman superfan, really wanted to go to his concert. His younger brother, who wouldn’t have enjoyed a minute of it, insisted he was also old enough to attend.

So now, in addition to 1) finding a nearby attraction 2) to which I could easily take three kids solo, it had to 3) be cool enough that the 5 year old wouldn’t feel like he was part of the younger division.

“He’s gotta think it was his choice,” whispered my husband.

It was a lot of… juggling. Judging perceived capability vs. actual capacity. Acknowledging sensitive sibling dynamics. Trying to be really smooth so as not to create shame. And of course, logistics and timing.

It’s not just the dollars that a family trip costs us. It’s also emotional labor:

• Finding something that’s free or affordable
• Planning around nap times, bus or train schedules, or traffic hour
• Striking a balance between “the kids will love it” and “I’ll also enjoy myself” (although at a certain point, if the kids like it, I like it)
• Balancing the needs, desires, temperaments or abilities of children of different ages or stages
• Bringing along snacks, lunch and drinks

Anyways, on a day that was 70 degrees and sunny, we ended up in an indoor playground. The kind that costs $$ (pre-tax) per kid, including the one year old. (Shout out to the guy in line who split a discount ticket package with me!)

After an hour, I rounded up the kids. They were still having fun. That’s the best time to leave!

Even if you paid a lot of money:

• Leave while everyone is still smiling. That’s your money’s worth, not maxing out your time there.
• ​It’s okay if you don’t see every exhibit.
• Don't feel—or make your kids feel—pressured. It doesn't have to be picture perfect just because it was expensive.

We also ended up, after our bedtime and in pajamas, at Uncle Moishy’s Simchas Beis street concert. It was specifically for the five year old. He climbed onto a pole and remained there the whole time, entranced. (His older brother was unimpressed.)

The best part about a day that was so over the top? My kids probably won’t like it any better than bringing our rollerblades to the park, which is tomorrow’s ambitious plan.

That’s because memories are encoded with experience. Emotions determine how you remember something. That’s the difference between “I loved high school” and “I couldn’t wait to graduate”. Your individual experience affects how you recall it.

Whether your trip is free or a fortune… make it count:

• Have a good attitude. Model flexibility.
• Stay calm, even when you miss a turn and your ETA becomes 10 minutes later.
• Don’t use the time when you’re finally sitting beside your husband to fight or discuss tense topics.
• Get your family picture in the beginning. Trust me.
• Review the highlights with your kids. This is basically propaganda. They'll remember however you spin it. (Also review the disappointments, which teaches them to process their emotions.)

It’s really not the money, or the destination, that determines whether you have fun. If “home is where the heart is” then “a good trip is where the good vibes are”. And your own vibes (ie attitude and response) are always within your control.

What are your Chol Hamoed plans? Can you still go to the local park or are your kids old enough that you have to branch out? (Any great suggestions?)

Reply and tell me!
​
​

*yesterday, now. I always sleep on my emails so I can process before sending.